What can I say about the readers who submitted entries to our “Name That Character Description Contest” except Ohmygawd!
I thought this might be kinda fun for our Cat!-ites, an escape from the holiday rigors, but I never expected the gut-busting laughs I got every time I read a new entry. Some really hilarious stuff here.
And some really creative minds at play!!
Asked to concoct a brief bio for an odd-named bunch of fictitious folks, our submittees made up a mind-numbing imaginary cast. Odd origins, like being “born in South Dakota to a renegade nun,” as Glen Miller proposed for Carmini Lockhart. Odd claims to fame, as C. Nickell offered for adult film actress DeNile Rivers, “star of The Devil Wears Nada.” And even odder occupations as the one Giulle thought up for the “door-to-door knife salesman” Sherman Sheperd.
I particularly loved the idea that three or more characters might live in the same town, or have lives that intermingled. Matt suggested such a thread for my favorite combo, the Catalina Waters-Carmini Lockhart-Zane Battle connection. And where the delightful Christina C.’s mind is at, we may never knowl!!
But since we had to pick a winner, we picked two: Teresa Davis and Jim Endecott each get the prize, mostly because they followed the rules and brought in their three character descriptions roughly under 100 words as asked. This word limit just knocked out three really funny entries from our buddy, Tim Malloy, who is our Runner Up.
Please check out the thread in the comment section of last week’s blog to see these and all the other entries.
Yet this contest will always be remembered for the haunting riff that Kalvin T created to win Honorable Mention:
Zane Battle, 23 Tired, dirty, bleeding and hungry is leading his small band of fighters into Emperadador’s evil lair. His mind drifts back to the days when his trusty Blaster was not his best friend. Little Sonja Dupree, his first kiss. Baking Kirmizi with his mother, dear sweet mother. Ah! His favorite memory of all, Shivpuri, his… Zane is jolted back to reality with the first explosion, they have been discovered. Will plan B now be their savior?
Given the assignment, if I were a studio executive I’d want to talk to Kalvin. A lot of thought went into that writage. Somewhere, the further adventures of Zane Battle await recording…
Blake Snyder
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Blake, just a quick note to say thanks to you and Joe for the fun writing exercise…
I stand poised and ready in my runner up slot to wear the “Character Crown” should either winner be unable to fulfill their duties…
And this is certainly a possibility with the mounting pressure on writers to use illegal steroids to develop their funny bones, and bulk up their knee slapping and rib tickling muscles… if the findings in the soon to be released Henny Youngman Report shows evidence that either of our winners were packing their punchlines with scandalous HUMOR Growth Hormones, then the high court of comedy must step in to protect the integrity of the award…
If we are not careful, our children’s only reply to the “Who’s There” question of all future “Knock Knock” jokes will be, “It’s a cheater. Open up and give me a shot of synthetic slapstick!”
We can’t have that…
So, congratulations and best wishes to both Teresa and Jim on their reign as the king and queen of character…we’ll be watching! :)
Tim Malloy – NJ
Thanks Blake! That was a lot of fun. Great reads all of them!
-Jim
I’ve been so busy writing, traveling, and preproducing (is that a word?) that I wasn’t aware of the contest until moments ago. I guess I need to visit the front page more often instead of going straight to the forum. I have all the wonderful prizes, so I would have disqualified myself anyway, but I’m very happy to have some good reading tonight when I check out all the entries!