I am starting to see a lot more spec sales in the trades!!
This makes me very happy.
Maybe… FINALLY… Hollywood is looking outside the studio gates for their movie ideas. ’bout time!
One recent sale I cited in my seminar last weekend was one that proved the good loglines are ones where I hit my forehead and say: Dooohh!
Why didn’t I think of that?
Two first-time writers sold their spec to Paramount. Title: Identity Crisis. Concept: A groom wakes up on his wedding day with amnesia and must piece together the events of his bachelor party from the night before.
It’s simple. It’s primal (weddings are). It doesn’t sound expensive. And it’s targeted at the sweet spot of the marketplace: youth.
Come to think of it: I HAVE pitched this idea!!! But that’s okay. We live. We learn. We move on.
This is one of several spec sales that can be found listed in detail at www.DoneDealPro.com. For $23.50 per year you can subscribe to Done Deal and keep up to date on every spec sale and any other project in the works.
The most beneficial part of doing this is to compare the ideas that sold with your own loglines to see if you too have the four elements that make for a successful one. Most of those that sell do. And it’s a good thing to keep reading loglines; the rhythm of what makes a good one becomes more obvious as you read one after the next.
For starters, it doesn’t take many words to describe. It’s evocative of a whole movie (the concept blooms in my mind when I hear it) and it has a target and the cost of the movie implied in the idea.
And while Identity Crisis isn’t the world’s greatest title, it at least “Says What It Is” — which is the key to any good title.
Go forth and do likewise.
And if you feel like it, please use the Comment section below to pitch your best logline and let others tell you if they agree or not.
ALSO! I know several of you out there who are looking for writing partners. Please use the comment section below to pitch yourself and your movie idea and the type of partner you’re looking for and we’ll get you in touch with the write one!
Glad to be back from Chicago — thanks to the participants for a great two-day structure seminar! You all did outstandingly well!
Blake Snyder
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Ok, opening salvo here:
Title: Regular Army
Tagline: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Logline: Newly promoted from the enlisted ranks, an ambituous lesbian lieutentant struggles to hide her sexuality while falling in love with another lesbian officer. Her difficulties are compounded when she must defend a solider under her command is assumed to be gay.
Btw, this script is already written, has been properly registered, etc., etc. ad naseum.
Whacha think?
Comedy or drama?
What you’ve got here could be either. But my expectations would be very different, depending on the mode you’re using.
As a drama… I’ve got to say that it sounds over-earnest. Which means it would have to be deeply thought, and very honest.
As a (romantic) comedy… it would be more promising, since the characters would have to be very, very smart in negotiating the incidents.
A question my writer’s group always brings up as well: who’s the audience for this?
It’s a romance/drama. Who says that comedy’s required for them to be “smart” enough to negotiate the incidents?
Who’s it for? Everybody that enjoyed Brokeback would like it and because of the “lesbians” (this is strictly from a marketing standpoint… one that I find loathsome) the guys that wouldn’t go see Brokeback, would go see it.
I like the logline, but not so much the title.
I think it would be a great drama (that’s what it seemed to be when I read that). I also think Hollywood is now willing to address the seriousness of the issue now thanks to Brokeback Mountain.
It’s about time…
How about some sci-fi?
Title: STARSEED
Tagline: Some believe life came to earth on a comet. This summer, it will return.
Logline: As a deadly comet falls to earth, the entire ecosystem begins a process of super-evolution. Can humanity save itself before it’s no longer human?
I plan to shoot this as a “monster in the house” kind of thing where a family is trapped in a basement (Blake, if they won’t let me do WOTW then I’m going to rip it off as much as I can, I have no shame whatsoever) trying to fend off all these strange new creatures, whilst slowly changing themselves.
Then, fast forward to a million years later and . . . I’ll really have to spend some money.
I kind of like this. Except… it sounds like change of some sort is inevitable. And that’s not so encouraging. I think I’d feel that victory would be humans staying human.
Also, Watch The Grammar (on the tagline)! That “it” in the second sentence can refer to either “life” or “the comet”. Really. My first glance read of it led me to think “What returns? Life?” (Yes, I’m a certified member of the Grammar Police. ;) )
As Ptolemy say; nothing persists but change.
Didn’t you see 2001 or the Matrix? Change, not just in individual lives but us as a species, IS inevitable. What do you think will happen to us when we start breeding in space, or on the lunar colony W. is planning to build? We will not only change physiologically, but socially as well. Hmmmm, that sound like a pitch to me . . .
Title: The Moon
Tagline: We will return . . .
Logline: A dramatic look at our return to the moon and it’s colonization. But like any good colony, they long for their independence. After a devastating war the survivors begin again, and begin the next step in human evolution.
I think it’s ripped off from an episode of Doctor Who, but I still stand firm that it’s an inevitability that we will change as a species when we start to spend longer periods of time in space.
I just figured, why not bring that idea back down to earth (a little)?
Hey, Blake…(again!)
Title: “Lurch’s Friends”
Logline:
A young girl’s romance with a disabled boy is jeopardized by both her mother’s intolerance and the cruelty of her peers.
BTW, my script is also already written, registered with both the US Copyright Office and WGA-E, and being marketed.
Any feedback would be appreciated.
Larry, your story sounds like MOW material, and if the storyline focuses on the girl’s point of view, I would take this to Lifetime.
There have been several films made with this idea, and this is a subject that does well (my opinion) because everyone wants to be more understanding of those with disabilities and there is immediate sympathy for the situation. I have a 6 yr old son with multiple disabilities, and everyone does treat him differently even though he doesn’t let those disabilities get to him. People want to understand, they want to accept them as “normal” but will still see them as “different” even though they have the best of intentions. I also have a form of disability, and since mine isn’t noticable visually I try not to make it known. It does make my life much more difficult, but people who know tend to make a big deal out of it, and it is hard enough dealing with it without all the well intended sympathy. Disabilities are a touchy subject, so make sure you consider that in your story.
I do have a suggestion, in your logline try mentioning the disability instead of just saying “disabled boy”. Is the boy deaf? Blind? Mentally handicapped? Mobility problem? for example…
A young girl’s romance with a hearing impaired boy is jeopardized by both her mother’s intolerance and the cruelty of her peers.
That helps the reader understand the stakes better.
Amber,
Thank you for your comments…I myself was born with one leg shorter than the other, which causes me to limp. While this doesn’t make me disabled in terms of everyday life–it just looks weird–to some people I will always look odd. And yes, this is Kevin’s disability in my script.
Your son sounds well-adjusted to his situation, which is good.
How’s this for a logline?
“A young girl’s romance with a boy who limps is jeopardized by both her mother’s intolerance and the cruelty of her peers.”
I have already sent a Query Letter to Lifetime–along with 58 other places so far–and two have requested a copy of the script…I also paid to have Blake analyze it, I’m looking forward to his feedback.
Do you have a script written, or an idea for one? If so, what’s it about?
Larry
Larry,
Maybe just saying “a boy who limps” doesn’t put across enough conflict? Maybe…
A young girl’s romance with a boy dealing with a physical disability is jeopardized by both her mother’s intolerance and the cruelty of her peers
That would also imply the obvious of the boy having to deal with it himself. As you understand because you deal with it as well, sometimes we can be evn harder on ourselves than others are of us. I know I sometimes let my fear of embarressment stand in the way when I shouldn’t. I scare myself into believing people care more than they really do. So this boy will always struggle with that pull of “it’s ok, it’s not ok”.
As for my work, I have worked in indie film for a few years, sold scripts or been hired to write close to twenty at this time. Two have already been produced, SLEEP was a short that I fixed the script and assistant directed and has been shown several times. Most notably in NYC and on TV in North Carolina. Another is Friendly Box which I was hired to write and it finished post production this past fall and we are waiting on an exact screening date in Atlanta. We are currently discussing a sequel and it’s looking like a go. Six or seven that I wrote are in pre-production at this time. I write mostly horror, slasher, or psychological thrillers as my expertise is forensic, medical, and psychology.
I also am in the middle of a potential deal with a major television network for a film and television series (with the film leading into the series). I have been asked not to speak about the subject of the project at this time, but trust me I’ll be screaming when it becomes official :)
I have also just been hired to write another indie feature this week, and in negotiations for another possible TV film which at this time is looking like it will actually be turned into two seperate films. I am also working on a rom/com spec which has already received some slight attention although nothing serious at this time. Possibly because I am horrible at loglines (I feel this is the appropriate time to admit this, LOL) and after reading Save The Cat! I am determined not to do any more to the script until I have come up with the perfect logline. If nothing else, just to prove to Blake that I can. I am more than a bullhead, I am downright defiant. That doesn’t always work in my favor.
I can’t stand to just work on one thing at a time, can you tell? ;) Seems unfair I’m still broke, but indie work doesn’t pay too much, and if you don’t feed kids every few hours they get cranky and I have three kids. That’s a lot of food! They are my greatest accomplishment though, and if I never do any more with my writing than I already have, at least I have done well with the most important thing, my beautiful children.
Indie film is a fantastic way to get experiance. May not seem like much, but when a producer says “I need a film that has to be only 10 minutes long including beginning and end credits and deals with a therapist and her patient and murder has to happen, and I need it by this weekend” and you can pull that off, a feature length script can seem like a day at the park.
Blake, you need to add a message board to your site, looking up replies on blogs can get confusing! You can get a free one that is easy to use, I have one for my website, go to http://www.DragonWillowProductions.com and click on “forum”. Just keep in mind the website says updated, but it really isn’t. I also have sort of neglected the forum, but it’s there! I used to update constantly but since I stopped production on the films Wanda and I were working on after her death, I haven’t done much with the site.
Amber,
Wow…Good luck on all those projects! Hopefully my resume will someday read like yours…”Lurch’s Friends” is my first script, and if I feel confident in its merits, that’s only because I’ve been writing the damn thing for twenty years or so.
I will probably leave my logline ‘as is’ for now,
since revealing the limp may cause people to say, ‘Is that all that’s wrong with him?’ Also, since my main character is the girl who loves him, I have dealt more with how she deals with everything.
I especially hope that movie/TV deal works out, if I hear screaming coming from my PC I’ll know why.
Thanks for your logline advice, even if you did wait till after to admit you’re bad at them…LOL
Larry
PS–How would I go about submitting to Lifetime? The way I went in, through their website, probably isn’t the way to do it.
Larry,
If you don’t have an agent, the best way is to have a contact with someone at Lifetime or someone who has done work for them. Or who knows someone who has done work for them. Yeah, that’s easy isn’t it? LOL
Sometimes it’s amazing the ways you get contacts in this business. You will hear it from everyone and may not believe the extreme importance of it, but I cannot stress this enough, every single person you meet in this business is a contact. Every single one may in the future hold the key to you getting your work seen by “the powers that be”.
My first film was written when I mentioned I was a writer to a producer at an audition. I was just an actress trying to get a role in an indie film. He mentioned he had an idea for a film but was having a hard time writing it, and would I like to try. That first film was the example I gave above of the ten minute short involving the therapist and murder. That was my first sale, I wrote the script that night, he bought it the next day. Asked for 3 more. He ended up being my biggest asset, as he told other people in the industry about me. I never had to pitch a single script. Perhaps that is why I am so horrible at pitching and loglines. I never needed them. My work in “the big leagues” came about pretty much by accident. I was happy doing indie films. I started my own production company, things were great. Then came a project idea that started small and turned into something incredible and amazing. I realized it had become bigger than I could do it justice with a small indie budget. Before I knew it, I had people pitching for me, a publicist, and contact to some of the biggest names in Hollywood. All because the right idea came along. That’s the importance of story, and why the subject has got to be gripping. If it is, it will do most of the selling for you. My publicist asked a director/producer she knew to take a look at my work to see if he could suggest an appropriate agent. That’s all it was supposed to be, but it ended up becoming a deal for a series and a film. It sounds fantastic but honestly if I can’t fix my problem with loglines and pitching I will have a hard time getting any deals after this project is done. The rest has been indie work, which pays little and honestly most people in Hollywood could care less how many indie films I have done. It’s a whole different ballgame to them. Not even close to being what they look for. I still have so much learning to go in this business, as my publicist says, I’m a baby at this point, and no matter how strong someone starts, it’s keeping it going that’s important. Those who start out stronger have a bigger chance of falling faster.
Is there a phone number on the website for Lifetime? I don’t remember… If not I’ll see if I have it in my files. One place to look that most people don’t realize is http://www.contactanycelebrity.com
You can find contact info for just about anyone in the business there, you can also look them up by what charities they support so you can figure out the best people to go to with a project. http://www.IMDB.com is also helpful but a lot of times are not as up to date with contact info.
I talk entirely too much. I need to get out more.
You an’ me both…
I got an e-mail from Blake today, it sounds like he likes my script, and will be in touch next week to provide the actual analysis…It sounds like there isn’t much tweaking left to do.
I have my fingers crossed…
Talk to you soon.
Larry
So maybe I’ve missed the bandwagon on this one, but in the hope that somebody, possibly even Blake might reply, here’s my idea.
Title: THE GUNS OF BRIXTON
Tagline: Thick as thieves.
Logline: When two undercover cops are taken hostage, a suave young conman and his dysfunctional gang of petty thieves invent a plot to betray and kill the murderous leader of a terrorist organisation…with explosive consequences.
I thought I might as well post the logline for my other film script to see if that has any potential. Here we go.
Title: INSIDE THE BUNKER
Genre: War thriller
Tagline: “You can’t keep them out. They’re already in!”
Logline: When a nuclear bunker collapses underground, during a heavy bombardment, the cowardly private ‘Drunken’ Duncan and his deserting friend must become true men to overcome their sadistic captain, who happens to have all the guns, knives and videotape.
Wow! This site is great! I’m reading Blake’s book “Save the Cat” right now and love it (thanks Blake). Keep on adding loglines folks. They are very helpful to a novice like yours truly.
Title: Scales of Justice
Action
Where the punishment fits the crime
Logline: A rich man is the victim of a violent crime. This is his quest for justice with a team of mercenary’s, a Blackhawk helicopter and an abandoned Nuclear Power Plant as he transitions from a nice guy to the dark side.
Not sure if the logline is any good. I just met you Sunday at the Hollywood Final Draft event. Focused on pitches & would love to get an idea or suggestion on my log line.
Title: Blind Faith
Logline: Cured of his blindness, a pop singer wonders how his friends, family and agent allowed him to marry his fat, ugly wife.
I was quite saddened by Blake’s death. I know he will live on through his books, scripts, and those who loved him. Thanks for everything, Blake.
Joe ~ Kinda rough, bro! Your protagonist seems too shallow to be considered likable. Might not strike producers as a moneymaker, unless maybe it’s a comedy and he’s an antihero. Just a thought…
Here’s my logline: A young homeless mother goes to extremes to protect her four-year-old son after shadowy forces become bent on stealing the boy away. I’m waiting to hear if I made the finals at the Austin Film Festival with this one and I have to submit my logline by Oct. 1st for the producers’ book. Anyone have advice?