A recent email from my good buddy Joe Whyte (if that’s his REAL name?) revealed that he was up to his usual snuff. Joe is a wit! A whirling dervish of new ideas, and here is his latest:

Just for fun, Joe has been collecting the fictitious names from the daily avalanche of spam he gets. Each email come-on is signed by a different made-up monniker. And each is just a little more hypnotic than the last.

The ever-efficient Joe has decided to put this stuff to good use by creating a file of these names for use when writing scripts (an alternative to the tried-and-true phone book).

Joe calls it “Spamining” and to quote him directly: “Spamining is just one way to recycle the dross of the environment into usable story material!”

So taken was I with Joe’s green-ness that I proposed we use the list as the basis of a holiday contest. Why not take the process one step further and add a character description for each name? What better way to exercise our character creation skills than writing fake biographies that somehow live up to the promise their name represents?


Edmond Manley, 33, junior partner at an English law firm, likes Darjeleeng tea, silk vests and taking the brassieres off drunken debutantes. Favorite color: tweed.

So for all of you creative writers out there, here’s a chance to show off your imagining skills, and we’ll even up the ante with a prize! The winner of the “most creative character description” will receive a Save the Cat! trifecta, that being a copy of the first book, a copy of the second and a copy of the software! (a $120 value)

The perfect stocking stuffer!

Here are the rules.

1. Take a look at the Top 25 names Joe and I picked from the slush file.

2. Pick three.

3. Write a short, one or two sentence description for each, no more than 100 words total. Can include any and all aspects of character including job description, motto, favorite expression, or family tree.

4. Submit to the Comment Section below. The most original (read funniest!) description wins!

Contest ends, and the winner (and runners up) will be announced, next Thursday December 20, 2007!

Good luck to one and all, and big thanks to Joe for finding all new ways to turn lemons into lemonade!

The List

1. Carmini Lockhart
2. Takisha Perky
3. Deddy Salandy
4. Lemuel Brown
5. Catalina Waters
6. Sherman Sheppard
7. Zane Battle
8. Dorian Daugherty
9. Marjorie Harde
10. Sonja Dupree
11. Curtis Woody
12. Thomas T. Thompson
13. Scotty Kirk
14. Moss Willis
15. Harlan Butts
16. Ollie Gause
17. Tessa Begay
18. Eileen Hinkle
19. Elwood Hensley
20. Travis Calhoun
21. DaNile Rivers
22. Leta Champagne
23. Lane LeBlanc
24. Millie Willimeter
25. Jane Puppums