From time to time on this site, I want to offer you the opportunity to discuss that most important of screenwriting issues — YOUR screenplay.
In my book, Save the Cat!, I make it clear that pitching your gold-dust movie notion to strangers with no vested interest in your writing careeer is THE best way to find out if what you have is gold — or just dust. And since “Concept Is King,” and the hook is vital for getting all of us interested — agent, producer, studio, AND ticketbuyer — what better way to find out what you’ve got is really “the one” than by just… spitting it out!
I get pitched all the time, and I am THRILLED! I love to hear your ideas, and I try my best to give you the most helpful feedback I can. But very often I say: Gee, I wonder what other writers would think of this?
Well, now’s your chance. In the future I want to discuss the nuances of how to sell animated films, horror, and rom-com — each, to me, with its own unique route to sales success. Today, let’s hear from those of you with a drama on your plate. Small budget or large, historic epic or two-person play, if it’s heavy, highly charged, and thought-provoking, this is your chance.
So here are the rules:
1. Title and Logline only please! We’re talking two, three, four sentences max.
2. If a screenplay, please indicate. If a work in progress, let us know if you want feedback.
3. Please post with your email address and name. No anonymous pitches, si vous plait.
TIP: In writing your logline, I hope you will follow the rules laid out in the first chapter of STC! These include the four basics of what every successful logline contains. If you haven’t put your idea into this handy and educational form, this exercise alone may be the best thing you do all day to push your screenplay forward. It helps! It really does.
I look forward to hearing from you and will post all your pitches posted at the COMMENTS button below — as well as the reaction to these — as fast as my webmaster’s flying fingers will allow.
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Title: Love sick
A romantic comedy about a guy who runs from romance!
Genre:Drama,Comedy (rites of passage)
A sensitive guy is beaten up by team of girls when he is in fourth grade .When he grows up he avoids all relationships. A girl falls for him and discovers later that she was in the team who had beaten him up.their relationship has a liberating effect on him as he is eventually healed.
Seeking feedback ..and Save the Cat! student as a writing partner.
LOVE SICK- I like the title, and I think you can build on the premise a bit. Maybe the guy is so nervous around girls that he gets physically sick around them, etc. Something like that…
If that idea intrigues you, I’d love to toss some ideas around, especially if you’re still looking for a STC writing partner.
CISCO FLATS- I like the premise, is there a reason to add 2 special abilities? The weather thing seems extraneous (Double Mumbo Jumbo?)
SECOND DRAFT- I love the idea of a Washington speechwriter, but I don’t think your story exploits the full potential for such a character. Actually, you may have some sort of cool reveal, but it’s not in the logline.
BTW, anyone else here from LA?
Hey Blake- why didn’t you put your URL in your book? I didn’t know about it until you told me!
How about a discussion board for the site? It would be a great place for like-minded writers to toss around ideas for feedback. There could be 1 board for loglines, another for beats, etc…
Steve Lang: I am still looking for a writing partner.
Writing with a partner can be fun and productive.
Ask Blake , He has worked with a partner in writing many scripts including his million dollar specs -Nuclear Family and Blank Check.
Interested? Please feel free to email me at
[email protected]
Title: Four of a Kind
Logline: A battle tested war veteran returns home to his three lifelong friends, right before one of them murders his sister.
Big Game –
A 12 year old boy, who lives with is divorced mother, and would rather be at home playing Resident Evil 3, gets dragged along on a bear-hunting trip to the north woods with his middle-aged entrepreneur father and his father’s four new (and much younger) business partners.
Turns out the intended game is actually the old man (a hunting accident in the making), and the boy is simply in the way.
Will years of preparation in front of the playstation come in handy when the rubber hits the road?
The Blue Tower –
Summer 1973, the Watergate scandal brews and four boys have to learn a hard life lesson.
One of them is dying of cancer.
The other three boys pursue a rambunctious summer of increasingly exciting adventures, defying all attempts to stop them. All their activities are dreamed up and directed by the dying boy, and documented in brilliant polaroid snapshots that are smuggled into his sick-room past the constant guard of his over-protective mother.
Will the boys succeed in their ultimate quest, climbing the 100 ft, barbed wire enclosed water tower at the edge of town … before it’s too late?
Jim,
This feels like a STAND BY ME sort of film, which is a good thing. A few thoughts:
THE BLUE TOWER – this means nothing to me. I don’t know what a blue tower is.
THE WATER TOWER – I know what this is, I can see it in my head and seeing it makes me wonder how it plays into your story. (See Terry’s column on “Mental Real Estate†over on Wordplay.)
Summer 1973, the Watergate scandal brews and four boys have to learn a hard life lesson.
I don’t get from your logline how the Watergate scandal affects the boys. If it doesn’t, I think you’d be better-served coming up with something that does. For instance…
One of them is dying of cancer.
The other three boys pursue a rambunctious summer of increasingly exciting adventures, defying all attempts to stop them. All their activities are dreamed up and directed by the dying boy, and documented in brilliant polaroid snapshots that are smuggled into his sick-room past the constant guard of his over-protective mother.
This is a great premise. I might even love it. But I can’t see it because I don’t know what “increasingly exciting adventures†are.
I suspect this is the quest to climb the water tower. If this is so, I think you want to simply say it. They’re a bunch of kids trying to climb a 100 ft barbed wire protected water tower under orchestration by their bedridden, dying friend. I can SEE that movie. (And more importantly, I’d like to.)
And I just got my copy of SAVE THE CAT yesterday and read the first 50 pages last night and can say with some confidence that your idea is “high concept†as defined by our esteemed host (Hi Blake!).
So, to quote BLADE III, use it! You’ve got this kickass idea (I felt that jealous twinge as soon as I figured out what I think your story is really about) and you’re hiding it in a bunch of fluffy adjectives!
Good luck with it!