FADE IN: THE WORST 250 WORDS
Competitors are invited to submit the first 250 words of a fictional bad screenplay. It is an intro so dense, a set-up so ripe with purple prose, a start so teetering under the weight of over thinking — and CAMERA ANGLES — that it guarantees the poor studio reader will throw it across the room before the end of the page.
From Title, to Fade In, to description of mood, overly-indicative dialogue — and MUSIC CUES — contestants will, we hope, offer the rest of us some insight into “what NOT to do” in this most important part of any screenplay-reading experience. 250 word limit strictly enforced!!
INT. THATCH HUT – MOZAMBIQUE – NIGHT
The sound of a birth in progress promulgates the night. Worried SERVANTS huddle outside the delivery room. And as we PUSH IN AND TILT DOWN we see a white haired man, DOCTOR HERMAN MUNCHHAUSEN, 53, sweaty.
Push, Fraulein Johnson! He’s almost here!
The sound of a baby’s first cries are heard. The mother, FRAULEIN JOHNSON, 34, sweaty, searches for the doctor’s reaction.
Is it a boy?
Yes. And he’s all boy, Fraulein Johnson….
Wait a minute….
The mother’s expectant face turns to terror at the sight. But moments later, a look of clam crosses her face. She turns to a SERVANT, 22, sweaty.
Get me carrots!
(proudly, with trepidation)
My son vill have carrots!
Then all freeze as somewhere in the night, a rhinoceros HOWLS.
CONTEST RULES AND PRIZES: Enter as often as you like. BUT! Entries exceeding the 250 word limit disqualified. Deadline for entry: July 1, 2009. Winners announced Thursday, July 9 , 2009. Prizes: First Prize: Tuition to a Save the Cat! Beats Workshop; Second Prize: A complete set of Save the Cat! books and software; Third Prize: A $50 Save the Cat! gift certificate.
Good luck to all!